Source(google.com.pk)
Funny Kids Quotes Source Biography
Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.
Marcelene Cox
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
Abraham Kaplan
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
John Ciardi
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
Franklin P. Jones
People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.
Paul Reiser, Babyhood
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Alan Bleasdale
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.
Robert Gallagher
I think we’re seeing in working mothers a change from “Thank God it’s Friday” to “Thank God it’s Monday.” If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent.
Ann Diehl: Vogue Jan 85
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
Steven Wright
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen
Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.
Ted Cook
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
Franklin P. Jones
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.
Chinese Proverb
No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.
Amy Leslie
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Mark Twain
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.
P.J O'Rourke
Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Bobby looked up and innocently replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
Source: Mikey’s Funnies
About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.
“They think we have an accent,” she replied.
“But they have an accent, right?”, Brent asked. “They talk funny?”
“Everybody talks in different ways” she tried to explain. “To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out.”
His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, “Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?”
Source: Good Clean Fun
A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”
The boy looked at her quizzically… “Why does it have to be a secret?”
Source: Good Clean Fun
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The Mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.
“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.
“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, “62.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
A mother’s four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she wouldn’t budge from her seat even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice was cleaned.
At the end of the show, she exclaimed, “I know what I want to be when I grow up!”
The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in the Ice Capades.
She was brought back to earth when the daughter continued, “I want to be a zamboni driver!”
Parents are expected to participate in their children’s education, and my friends were no exception. They gladly help their fifth-grade son, Andrew, whenever he’s stumped. One day after school, Andrew ran into the house waving a paper in the air. “Hey, Mom, great news! There were only three mistakes on my math homework,” he announced. “You made one, Dad made one and I made one!”
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer.
Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.
Stay away from prunes.
Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.
Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she’s on the phone.
Funny Kids Quotes Source Biography
Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.
Marcelene Cox
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
Abraham Kaplan
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
John Ciardi
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
Franklin P. Jones
People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.
Paul Reiser, Babyhood
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Alan Bleasdale
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.
Robert Gallagher
I think we’re seeing in working mothers a change from “Thank God it’s Friday” to “Thank God it’s Monday.” If any working mother has not experienced that feeling, her children are not adolescent.
Ann Diehl: Vogue Jan 85
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
Steven Wright
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen
Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.
Ted Cook
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
Franklin P. Jones
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.
Chinese Proverb
No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.
Amy Leslie
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Mark Twain
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.
P.J O'Rourke
Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Bobby looked up and innocently replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
Source: Mikey’s Funnies
About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.
“They think we have an accent,” she replied.
“But they have an accent, right?”, Brent asked. “They talk funny?”
“Everybody talks in different ways” she tried to explain. “To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out.”
His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, “Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?”
Source: Good Clean Fun
A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”
The boy looked at her quizzically… “Why does it have to be a secret?”
Source: Good Clean Fun
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The Mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.
“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.
“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, “62.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
A mother’s four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she wouldn’t budge from her seat even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice was cleaned.
At the end of the show, she exclaimed, “I know what I want to be when I grow up!”
The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in the Ice Capades.
She was brought back to earth when the daughter continued, “I want to be a zamboni driver!”
Parents are expected to participate in their children’s education, and my friends were no exception. They gladly help their fifth-grade son, Andrew, whenever he’s stumped. One day after school, Andrew ran into the house waving a paper in the air. “Hey, Mom, great news! There were only three mistakes on my math homework,” he announced. “You made one, Dad made one and I made one!”
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer.
Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.
Stay away from prunes.
Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.
Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she’s on the phone.
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source
Funny Kids Quotes Source